Jokes Related to CA (Chartered Accountants) August 2015
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The INCOME TAX ACT, 1961 says that
AUDIT can only b done by…
Not by chote bhai(CWA),
Not choti behen(CS),
Not kale kottwale(LAWYERS),
Not by Lutte-pitte MBA’S…
For CA Student…
Best T-shirt Quote ever:
“i don’t need a girlfriend..
“my studies irritate me everyday…
CA mai Allied law
Ladkiyon ki awwwwww
Dono samjh se bahar hai 😛
Imagine an Audit Report: Dear Stakeholders, Financial statements
are responsibility of management… On
the basis of info provided to us we are of
the opinion that Internal Control Kamjor
h, Loan ka jor h, Management Chor h,
Employees Kaam chor h, Creditors ka shor h, Bad Debts more h or hum Auditors
Independent h… Or yahi AAS 4 hai..
ESSAY ON CA STUDENT
CA student ek vichitra praani hota hain.
Yeh jyadatar Institute ke paas paya jaata hain.
Inhe fail honey main mahaarat haasil hoti hain.
Inme padhne ka keeda hota hain,
isiliye yeh metro main,bus stand,park ,gurudware ,library me in short kahi bhi
khalli jagah par padhte hue dekha ja sakta hai.
Inme baat baat par maaro maaro chillane ki
aur party mangane ki aadat hoti hai.
nhe sone se nafrat hoti hai
yeh subha 5 baaje utth te hai aur raat ko 12 baje sothe hai.
Waise toh bharat ke kai rajyon me yeh paaye jaate hai
ITO inka priya milan sthal hai.
Inki kamaai ek chaai waaley se bhi kam hoti hain.
Inke ghar mai AC ho na ho paar class me AC nai hone par
yeh marne maarne pai uttar aate hai.
Inme male prani class me comment pass karna,
seeti bajana ,break break chilana,
ladkiya tarne me bhi samarth paaye jaate hai.
“Inhe apne employer aur ICAI ki buraai karney mein vishesh anand praapt hota hain.”
Two CA’S were getting married, during marriage
ceremony, wife vomits, husband asks the reason
wife says –Profit prior to incorporation.. .AS-5
Typical CA student:
1. Jo samajh me na aaye use out of course
declare kar dena ya option me chhor dena.
2. Har attempt k end me
aelan karna ki agli attempt achhe se padhenge.
3. Padhai karte waqt cell silent par rakhna and
har 5-5 minute me dekhna ki koi msg to nahi
4. Group study k waqt bar bar kehna,
“Chalo ab padhte hai, ab koi
bakwas nahi karega.”
5. Kuch bhi padhne se pehle,
pages count karna.
6. Common dialogue: Kal se
Once CA PAPER HAS BEEN LEAKED
Q) Wat Is Da Capital Of France?
IN EXAM: Students Write PARIS Is Da
Capital Of France
RESULT DAY: Students FAILED
EXAMINER COMMENT(Wid A Devil
Laugh): Capital Of France Is “F”.
CONCLUSION: Even If Da Paper
Leaks Student Cannot Pass. Hahaha
Most of the students feel proud because they took admission in CA moral:- ‘CA’ bs naam hi kaafi hai
C.A Girl” (vidai k waqt):
Papa roiye mat, meri 1 baat dhyan se suniye,
Tent wale ko, catering wale ko na contract amount pr T.D.S kat k payment kijiyega fir challan ki copy bhijwa dijiega,
return “ye” file kr denge,
nominal si fee lenge aap se to..
Moral :- income ki koi bhi opportunity na chhodo
A Dr.& A CA. luvs D same girl.
her a rose.
bt CA. gvs her apple daily
CA.:~AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!
Once a CA got selected in Indian Cricket Team!
He raised his bat on scoring 40 runs and again on 60 runs!
Sachin tells him “It’s not a 50 or 100″.
CA says “Tumhe kya pata, ONLY a CA can understand the importance of scoring 40 and 60!!”
Sachin shocked, CA rocked!!
THTS CALLED A C.A.
A Newly Qualified C.A. walks into a bank in Mumbai nd asks 4 a 50,000 loan. D bank asks 4 a Security nd d guy hands over d keys nd documents of his BMW which park on d street in front of d bank.. aftr all necessary check d bank agree 2 grant him loan. D bnk president nd al officers enjoy a good “laugh” 4 guy 4 using 1 crore BMW as collateral against a Small Loan. dan d car was…parkd in d banks garage safely.
2 weeks later d guy returs nd repays 50,000 nd d interest which comes to 200.
D loan officer says, Sir v r very happy 2 dis transaction, bt we r a little puzzled. while u were away, we checked out nd found dat u r a”MULTIMILLIONARIE” dan y did u bother 2 borrow 50,000??
Dan d guy replies, wher else in Mumbai can I park my car for 2 weeks for only 200 and expect it to be ther when I return.. thnx 4 apne meri car ko itne pyar se rakha…
CAs ki Shaan me,others dont mind pls..
One ws engineer
One ws doctor
And the third one ws a CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT.:
Before transferin all his property to his sons he put a condition dat all three of dem have 2 keep 5-5 lakh rs wid his grave:-
After his death
Engineer went nd put only 3lakhsiin grave sayin kaun sa pata chalega……
Den doctor came nd put jst 50,000,
An went back…..
Nw it ws d time of C.A he went dere and said i’ll nt do any fraudwid ma father …..
I’lll obey his order as he said
He jst made an a/c payee chequeof rs. 8,50,000 & kept it there and took those rs. 3,50,000 wid him .
Dats wht r C.A’s made for……
Dey dnt do anythin wrong ,
And dnt leave anythin rite……
7 reasons why I choose CA.
1) I hate 2 Rest
2) I have already enjoyed life in childhood.
3) I luv tension.
4) I don’t want to spend time with family..
5) I want to take revenge from myself
6) I luv 2 study on Sundays &holidays
THE BEST ONE
7) Pass hone ki khushi bardasht nahi
hoti thi yaar, kasam se..!
Father: Tumhare CA k Result ka kya
Son: Headmster ka beta fail ho
Father: Aur tum…??
Son: Doctor ka beta Bhi fail ho
Father: Aur tumhara result kaisa
Son: Wo Wakeel Ka Beta Bhi fail
Father: Kamine mai tera puch raha
Son: To Aap konse Rajnikant Ho,
Aapka Beta Bhi Fail Hai.
Different Girls fighting with their
Zyada udo mat samjhey..!…
Mujhey mat sikhao…
Ye aap ka School nahi…
Daant tod k hath me day dungi.
tabiyat durust kar dungi…
Mind your own business,..
zayda current na maro…
Pehlay Pass to ho lo phir baat
ONLY CA CAN DO THIS …..
Ek Bridge ka Tender nikla.
Ek Madrasi ne kaha 30 lakh mein bridge bana dunga.
Authorities ne puchha kaise??
10 lakh mere,
10 lakh ka material,
10 lakh labour ke.
90 lakh mein bana dunga!!
Authorities ne pucha:
Itna mahenga kyun??
30 lakh mere,
30 lakh aapke.
Aur bridge kaun banayega??
Bridge Madrasi banayega
CA got the tender…
PROUD TO BE PART OF CA.
Full form of Audit..!!
LOVE VS CA EXAM:-D
LOVE: Many thoughts in mind but
no guts 2 express it…
… … .
CA Exam: Dying 2 express but no
thoughts in the mind!! :p
Once a CA and Engineer were into an arguement
Engineer got angry and said to CA” I will wrap
you in thermo hydrolite and throw you with a
speed of E=mc2 (square).
CA replied for E=mc2(square), you will require
to have an atomic blast by importing Uranium
and building a nuclear reactor, in your case,
– You don’t have licence to import Uranium
– To Build nuclear reactor u need finance and
you dont have that.
financial instituition in india will provide you
– You don’t have government approval for an
– by the time the notification for approval of
blast we will be dead already.
= so your threat is good to hear but practically
not feasible and not at all viable when the
provided data is taken into account.
Engineer shocked, CA Rocked…!!
Moral: Don’t ever mess with a CA.
those who do Accounting are known as Accountants…!!
those who do Auditing are known as Auditors…!!
those who do both Accounting n Auditing are known as Articles
You Know ? why there is no RAGGING in CA
smart answer. kyu ki yaha koi nhi jaanta kab senior
junior ban jaaye or junior senior
Today my frnd asked, where r u going for
Income tax department….:-D:p
CA students ki koi ni sunta..
Jin – Hukum mere aakka!!
CA student- Mere harsubject mein 100 marks aane chahiye aur mein ICAI ka president ban jau.
Jin- aakka! hukum kro, bakwaas mat karo!!
ICAI President: Guys, I think results of CA FINAL
didn’t scared our students that much
what should we do now!!
I.T Deptt- Don’t worry! We will lift the exemption to
file ITR for salaried persons to increase Articles
ICAI Member- Lets spread rumour that you’ll have
to score 5% extra marks for passing exams!!
ICAI Member 2: Hey, I’ve a brilliant Idea lets
announce IPCC results on 31st July!
Everyone: You are a Son of devil